To you, sir, who has three times now, stood immobile while your mean Shepherd and even meaner Bull Terrier cornered and attacked Clayton Theodore and Miss Lilly Lorraine, PUT YOUR DAMNED DOGS ON LEASHES.  At the very least, call your poorly behaved dogs off of my dog.
To you, madame, please consider both a leash and a muzzle for your Shepherd. The dog weighs more than you, and more than I, and is intimidating.  Your dog is not friendly.  Do not laugh when it charges at me and at Clayton Theodore.
My final request is to a certain Ms., who has repeatedly allowed her ill-mannered and unleashed dog to use my dog’s face as a chew toy, while insisting that it is my dog who is mean because he is the one on a leash, PUT YOUR DAMNED DOG ON A LEASH.  YOUR DOG IS MEAN.
Clayton Theodore is anything but mean. Does he look like he is going to eat something other than our picnic?
Good Sir, Madame, and especially Ms. Clueless, Clayton Theodore is on a leash because he is a rescue dog who was not trained to be off leash. He is not mean.  He is social. Extremely social.
I am finished.